today

today rather than 50 years ago.  Mom and Ariana are going to St. Louis through Sunday.  I would like to go but cannot s I would sleep and be in pain the entire time.  It kills me to say"no" to my children but I am struggling for answers as to why my body seems to be on a shut down and i have a slew of doctor appointments for tests, etc.  I want to live as healthy and active as possible.  If they do identify a particular condition, then just knowing, I can make a plan of action and deal(hopefully), with it. I just want everyone to understand what is happening and i wish I knew so i can form a plan of action.  sometimes I get scared when my hips hurt because prostate cancer spreads there first; but it is probably just having crappy knees!  Thanks Grandma Valencic for passing down your bad DNA to me:(..Anyway, later, I will continue back to my childhood and relate some of the things I did or Bill and I did, etc.  Like play "hockey" on the frozen (almost) Allegheny river, using  a dead tree branch to hit around a chunk of ice(the"puck."  I say almost frozen because the deepest part or center of the river, the ice was broken up by a front barge with "teeth" so river barge traffic could continue during the winter.  Of course, older people on the shore would be screaming and cussing at us to get off the ice-if we broke through, we surely would have drowned.  But hey, we were kids and were invincible!  As I look back at a lot of the crazy, dangerous things we did, it's a wonder we made it through puberty.