put on the boxing gloves

A disclaimer: do I take my own advice?  Usually. Not. But I feel that when two people are in a relationship, like a marriage, there is bound to be differences, some of which push our emotional "buttons" to where we want the issue resolved NOW.  usually not a good idea-a hot head can't make cool decisions.  So here are some things I picked up over the years for your consideration:
1. When you want to settle an issue, do it latter-both pick an agreeable time.  You are not ignoring the problem; just "shelving" it to a better time. Like when you both are not at the boiling point and set aside a time for the TWO of you to talk. No kids or friends or duties to interupt.
2. It's time.  Sounds corny, but sit down, hold hands and have a prayer with both of you offering up something to the God of your understanding.  I would suggest thanking Him for each other.
3 Identify the problem and stick to it, and nothing else. This is not the time to bring in everything else that irritates you about your partner's habits or their extended family.  Example:"While were at it, I want to talk about your mother meddling in our lives, etc., etc."
4. Have a safe phrase and a separate safe place to go to for at least 15 minutes. If either one says, "Time Out," The conversation immediately stops-not another word is allowed to be spoken, and each person leaves the room and goes to a predesignated place: the dinning room, den, wherever.  As long as it is not the bedroom or the same place! And remember, when someone says time out, that's exactly what it means-I need a break and I need it now. AND NOT ANOTHER WORD IS ALLOWED. SILENCE. GET UP AND GO TO YOUR PLACE.
5. 15 minutes is up, time to get back together and try it again-and usually this time, it doesn't seem as bad as it was before.
6.  Always start each sentence or paragraph with the word "I".  Such as, "I feel that the way you sit there and pick your nose during diner really bothers me."  If you start with the word, "You," it comes across as an attack of the other person, such as, You are such a slob, picking your nose during dinner!" See the difference?
Anyway, just a few ideas that might help you at home or even where you work. And remember: you are not going to change your mate-so work on changing you to be a better person-when you do that, you will be surprised at how much better your mate has become!  And if you have not done so, everyone work to make a Mission Statement for your home. Frame it and hang it where everyone in the family(plus guests) can easily read it often.  Just as a suggestion, read "Family. A proclamation to the World," for some ideas.  You can find it at lds.org or just do a Google to find it. kismif: keep it simple, make it fun.